at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
