That's intense
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
