My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
