His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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