she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Randomize
