We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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