Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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