I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
