After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
