At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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