Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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