So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
