drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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