So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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