They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Drake has all the answers
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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