My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I believe in your delicious
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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