She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
