You work out of a Hotel?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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