Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
