his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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