She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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