He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
