If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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