She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
