So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
