Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize