Do vagina's smell?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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