Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My vagina just clenched in fear
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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