theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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