Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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