you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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