Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
