Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize