I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
