worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
