problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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