I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
