Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
