i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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