People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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