My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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