So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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