My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
