bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Two words: blizzard sex
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
