forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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