Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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