If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
