when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You don't make any sense
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