Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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