So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
