Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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