Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
