So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
