he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize