Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
