Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
