good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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