Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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