I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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