i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
