C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
