he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
