We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
