my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
