Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
