you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
