porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
