you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
our cab driver is having phone sex.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Randomize
