Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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